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July 2002 Archives

July 1, 2002

I had the weekend off!

I had the weekend off! How amazing is that. I've become so used to working 6 or 7 day weeks I didn't have a clue what to do with myself. Now, because I have to work next weekend my day off is during the week. So I'm working today, but I'm off tomorrow! I'm going to go shopping with my mom. We have to find an outfit for me to wear to my cousin's wedding. Her shower was on Saturday, that was actually kinda fun. It was all my mom's family and I don't know the extended ones very well. I'm starting to figure out who they all are and how they're connected. I did take pics, but I probably won't post most of them, maybe a couple tho'. I also came up with an idea for a wedding present while we were there. It's going to be a lot of work, but I think it'll turn out well. I'm not going to share just in case anyone stumbles across my little site, I don't want anyone knowing that shouldn't! Bye for now!

July 3, 2002

Hannah is two weeks old

Hannah is two weeks old today! She's back up to her birth weight of 1 lb. 12 ozs. She had been down to 1 lb. 9 ozs., but I guess it's fairly normal for babies to lose some weight after they're born. I.W.T.B. went to visit yesterday and mom and baby are both doing well.

I've started an absolutely collosal project for my cousin's wedding present. It was supposed to be an easy little cross-stitch project, but after I got all set up I realized it's going to be a LOT bigger than I had anticipated. I guess I'll just have to give it to them late if I don't finish it on time.

Time to complain about work, I had this past weeend completely off, and then Tuesday was my day off this week. But... now I have to wait until next Sunday (yes, 12 days from now) until I get another one. ACK! OK, good thing about work... I made a CK wall background (explaination coming) the other day and I got a lot of compliments on it. One of the main anchors told me it looked like something ABC would do. That made me all happy inside!

Explaination... CK-Wall... otherwise known as a "green screen" or sometimes a "blue screen" weather guys & reporters stand in front of it and then the computer replaces the green with the graphic from the computer. This is the reason weather guys never wear green! Otherwise you could see through them. It's a really funny effect tho'!

Time to go to work! Bye!

July 4, 2002

Happy 4th of July! On

Happy 4th of July!

On that note... Halley has an interesting take on the we must be patriotic, all day every day, that's been happening since 9-11. Check it out here. I completely understand her frustration. I work at a TV station and every time there is a story that could maybe have any kind of connection to 9-11 we have to do it. I can't count the number of times I've heard the question (or answer to) "How is this year different?" or "Is this more important because of what happened in September?" I do think it's important to celebrate our country. For all it's flaws it really is a wonderful place. But I think we can go overboard too.

On a completely different subject... I found some older pics of my kitty Ebony that I need to scan and post. It's him at 6 months so he's a little guy, but just as snuggly as ever. I think he's been feeling a little neglected lately because I haven't had a whole lot of time to spend with him the last couple days. Apparently this morning he wouldn't leave my roommate alone. He kept head-butting her and demanding that she "PET ME". He's such a goofy boy.

July 5, 2002

There's a really interesting 20/20

There's a really interesting 20/20 on right now. It's about the rights of adopted kids to find their biological parents vs. the right of the biological parents to their privacy. Who wins? Does the kid's desire to know who their parents are beat the parents desire to not be found? Or does it go the other way? We always see these horribly emotional reunions and think "oh how wonderful", but what if it doesn't work that way? What if there's a reason the mom doesn't want to be found? A lady on the show said what if the child was a result of incest or rape? Would you really want to know that your father is your grandfather, or that your father raped your mother.

I'm not adopted, I have no idea what it feels like, but the whole thing is just making me think. It's really interesting and I've never really thought about it that way before.

Deep thoughts today aparently.

July 6, 2002

Test Posting! I'm having trouble

Test Posting! I'm having trouble getting this to publish

July 7, 2002

The wedding present that's a

The wedding present that's a HUGE project, is actually going more quickly than I thought. It's still taking a lot of time, but I'm making progress. I've never spent more time staring at a little piece of fabric counting. It really sucks when you lose your place in a cross-stitch! Also, found a really nice outfit for the wedding. It's fun, and it's something that I'd wear again. I don't like to get dressed up, so that's saying something.

Today's Sunday, so I only have to be at work for 3 or 4 hours. Tomorrow tho' I'm going to end up there almost all day. I have to run audio for the morning cut-ins (7-9 a.m.) then there's a staff meeting at noon, and I have to be back for my normal shift around 2 in the afternoon. The staff meeting should be pretty darn interesting tho'. Lots of stuff going down.

I spent the afternoon snuggling with my birdie Dolce. And I have to admit it... I watched almost all of a "Real World" marathon on MTV. It's one of those shows that I feel I shouldn't like, but once I start watching an episode, I have to keep watching. It's like a weird car accident!

The roommate (IWTB) left for Montana this afternoon with her family. They're spending a week there on a family vacation. So, it's just me, the cats, the birds, and the other roommate Tim for the next week.

July 8, 2002

If someone says "This is

If someone says "This is the most messed up confusing religion I've ever seen, it doesn't make any sense." you can understand how that would be offensive right? Then, this person says, "explain it to me" You attack my entire belief system and then expect me to explain it to you?!?!?!?!? Not gonna happen! I have no problem discussing my beliefs with people, I've had hours long conversations about them with people who have completely different beliefs than me. I don't even know how to respond to this guy. He seems to have no concept of how offensive he is. I've NEVER told him that I think his beliefs are stupid, and yet he seems to think that he has the right to tell me that mine are. He is so arrogant.

OK, I'm done ranting for now. Watch out, I may come back and rant again later!

July 10, 2002

Here's a first for me...

Here's a first for me...
I'm going to attempt to do a Monday Mission. We'll see how that goes! I know it's Tuesday, OK technically Wednesday, but I can pretend it's Monday right? Here Goes!

1. Have you had to repair anything lately? Did you do it yourself or have someone else do it?
Um... I noticed the porch light was burned out, does that count? My roommate Tim fixed it before I had time to get to it so I didn't really have him do it, he just got to it first.

2. Do you work out or exercise? Or is there anything you do each day for your health?
I sit around and eat food. I've tried exercising, but I never last for more than a couple of weeks before I give up.

3. Are you a modest person? That is, would you be embarrassed for someone (an acquaintance, a friend, a stranger) to see you nude?
How close an acquaintance? My roommate Keva has seen me close to nude (running around in bra trying to find t-shirt in laundry room), roommate Tim hasn't (and won't!). I think I would be more embarrassed in front of people I sorta know as opposed to complete strangers.

4. What are some odors that you just can not stand to smell?
Burnt hair definately, or the smell the vacum cleaner makes when it overheats. Vomit is another big one, it makes me get dry heaves. Cat box! (Which I need to clean 'cuz it's my turn, ICK)

5. Are there any social situations that make you uncomfortable?
Speaking in front of people does a little, but I love acting/performing in front of people, just not speaking. Go figure! Also, going out to the bars. Even if I'm with a large group of friends I never really enjoy myself.

6. Has a friend or an employer ever asked you to do something you felt was unethical or? What was it and what happened?
I was desperate for moola and went to a telemarketing place. There was a tape of legal mumbo-jumbo that we had to play for people when they signed up for whatever it was and we were told to just talk over it so that the person couldn't hear it. I lasted until lunch time at which point I was so uncomfortable I left a note in my little cubby and walked out. About 6 months later they were shut down for illegal practices! Apparently I felt uncomfortable for good reason.

7. (continued) Well, we are not yet at our destination, though the way you described it, it sounds simply amazing. What is the first thing we should do once we get there?
Sit outside on a lawnchair (or log of your choice) and enjoy the view.

BONUS: In this whole world, what is fair?
My parents always said "Life isn't fair" so does that make death fair? OK, that was a touch morbid...

It's Wednesday, I'm tired. So

It's Wednesday, I'm tired. So what else is new? My tummy is grumbling so I should really go find something to eat, but that would involve getting up and actually moving. Maybe there's something in the fridge I can swipe...

July 11, 2002

There's a really interesting article

There's a really interesting article on Fark today about a drug called Modafinil. It lets you stay awake and alert for 40 hours, then you have to sleep for 8. But you can do it all over again the next day. It sounds really interesting. There are definitely days when it would be awfully nice to not have to worry about sleep. A favorite author of mine, Nancy Kress, has writen a series of books (the first one is "Beggars in Spain") about a group of people that have been genetically engineered to NEVER need sleep. I first read it back in high school and the idea really intrigues me. I spend so much time sleeping/tired, what would it be like to never feel like that? Would I get more accomplished, or would I just be frustrated that I couldn't ever really relax. Or maybe a person like that could relax, they just can't take a nap. Would I miss naps?

Sleep has been such an issue with me lately, it seems odd that I found that article now. Maybe I could get myself in a trial :) and test the stuff. I think that might be a little extreme, but it sure is interesting to ponder.

On a completely different subject... my mom bought me some bras through a catalog and I'm going over there tomorrow to try them on. How exciting! Can you feel the dripping sarcasm? Then we're going shoe shopping! Again exciting! I do not like shoe shopping. My feet are a really odd shape and almost nothing fits them right. So, we end up going all over creation to find one pair of shoes that pretty much fit and aren't completely ugly. ACK! But... Mom's paying. So it isn't all bad!

July 12, 2002

I'm having a little bit

I'm having a little bit of a nervous breakdown today. Hopefully it will go away soon. I don't like it when my mind conspires against me. Might write more later... might not... you'll just have to guess!

Feeling slightly better after lunch

Feeling slightly better after lunch with my mom. We talked for quite a while about all sorts of things. Still not feeling great tho'. I don't know if this is me cycling through something and I'll be better in a week or so, or if this is something more serious. I'm a little concerned 'cuz it's already lasted a week ish and that's longer than it normally takes for me to start feeling "normal" again after I flip out.

July 13, 2002

I need to share a

I need to share a silly story...

I was shopping with my mom and while I was trying on a few things she went to get more stuff. She came into the dressing room carrying a pair of pants. You have to understand that I'm very short. Every pair of pants I've ever owned has had to be hemmed. My jeans have a 4 or 5 inch cuff folded into them because I don't want to deal with hemming them. So... back in the dressing room. I pulled on the pair of pants she had brought in and they fit!!! They were just the right length! I said (quite excited) "Wow! and they don't need to be altered!" At which point my mother started laughing. I really didn't understand why pants fitting me was so funny until she said... "They're capris."

OK, stop laughing! Really... stop it.... I know you're rolling on the floor. Get up, stop laughing... Hey, no giggling either!

So, we bought two pair in different colors and I have pants that didn't need to be altered! Short people everywhere will understand my excitement.

Short People Unite!

I'm trying another one of

I'm trying another one of these once a week things. This one is called Saturday Scruples. Here goes...

1. A disgruntled worker is brandishing an automatic weapon. You're near a door. If you try to warn others you may not escape. Do you save yourself? No (I hope). I obviously don't know what I would actually do in the situation, but I would hope that I would warn other people. I know what will happen to me after I die, and that doesn't scare me, so I think it would be more important to try and help the other people.

2. You're buying a house from a sweet old lady. Her price is well below market value. Do you tell her? Yes. (Again I hope) I've never had that kind of money, but I hope I'd do the right thing and tell her. Besides, if she's so sweet, maybe she'll leave it!

3. Your five-year-old is angry and kicks you in the shins. Do you administer a sound spanking? Yes. By that age, a kid should know that hitting/punching/kicking is wrong. A little pain (not a lot) of their own ought to help. I was spanked and it didn't mess me up, and I think that if used in extreme moderation it is just fine.

July 16, 2002

Hannah has made it to

Hannah has made it to 2 pounds! Yeah!!!
I.W.T.B. went to visit yesterday and said she looks really good. She was really active and even opened her eyes a little bit. Her daddy is now working at the same place as I.W.T.B. and myself! So, we can get baby updates all the time now.

On a completely unrelated note... I was having an on-line discussion the other day and it struck me as completely bizarre to be having a serious conversation w/someone while the Home Shopping Network blarred in the background. It's amazing how two completely different things can be happening to a person at the same time. In one place there's a serious/important conversation happening, and in the other place there's noise and chaos and quite a bit of silliness from the babbling people on the TV. It almost seemed like existed in two places at once.

All right, that was my deep thought for the day. I may attempt a Monday Mission later (I know, it's Tuesday) but then again, I might not! You'll just have to wait and see...

I'm gonna attempt another Monday

I'm gonna attempt another Monday Mission. I know, it's Tuesday again, and by the time I finish this it'll probably be Wednesday. But I have a really active imagination, so in my head it's Monday (trust me, it is)

1. Have you ever sold anything through an online auction? What did you sell and did you make very much? I haven't sold anything on-line yet, but I have a bunch of stuff I don't want anymore and I'm very seriously considering putting it on-line. I figure I might as well make some money off the stuff instead of just tossing it.

2. Have you ever bought anything through an online auction? How was your experience? Yes, I've bought a large number of stamps, some books, a few videos, a shirt, I think that's everything. I've had really good luck with it. Very friendly sellers, no bad stories to impart.

3. Do you like the sun? Getting a suntan? Have you ever had a bad sunburn? The sun's OK I guess, I prefer nightime tho'. I rarely get suntans. It never happens on purpose, it's always on accident because I spent some time outside. I have had a very bad sunburn. I was a complete lobster. I was misserable for quite a few days.

4. Are you a vegetarian? Why? If not, have you ever considered it? No, I'm not. I have considered it, and philisophically I could very easily be a vegetarian. But... I really like meat! I eat quite a bit of it and I know I would have a really hard time giving it up.

5. Suppose you are getting into your car after you've just made your purchase from a store you visit twice a week. You suddenly realize you had a .35 item in your hand and you forgot to pay for it. What would you do next? (what *would* you do, not what *should* you do) This actually happened to me once. Completely without thinking I walked out of a store carrying something. It was quite a few years ago and I don't even remember what it was anymore. If I remember correctly, I got horribly embarassed and left it on a bench in the mall or something.

6. Sometimes it seems that there is just not enough time to do everything that must be done. Was there anything you wanted to accomplish this weekend that didn't get done? Everything! You only think I'm kidding. My bedroom & bathroom need to be cleaned, I have a cross-stitch project that needs to be finished, I should really do laundry so I don't have to scrounge for clean clothes. There's a bunch of pics I want to post in my photo album. So... Lots didn't get done!

7. What is your favorite game to play with a group and/or an individual? (board game, computer game, athletic, etc.) That's easy... Trivial Pursuit. I absolutely adore that game. It's a lot of fun and it's one of the few games that I'm good at.

So... that's the Monday Mission. My brain is completely fried, not from the Mission... from work, so I think I'm going to go do something completely mindless. I have to get up in the morning and go to work for 2 or 3 hours to take a defensive driving class. Ho Boy am I excited about that. I'm just hoping I don't fall asleep and start snoring in the middle of the thing!

Wish me luck!

July 17, 2002

Testing the Headline Deal

and also testing the "posted by" tag. Hope it all works!

Things it'd be REALLY Fun to Say

I read this the other day on Chris P.'s blog, and I'm finally getting around to doing something with it. I've seen some of them before, but they're just so funny I had to post them.

1. And your crybaby, whiny-assed opinion would be...?
2. Do I look like a people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
5. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
6. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
7. You...! Off my planet!
8. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
9. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
10. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
11. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
12. Allow me to introduce my selves.
13. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
14. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
15. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil!
16. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
17. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
18. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
19. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
20. Stress is when you wake up screaming & realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
21. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
22. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
23. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
24. Chaos, panic, & disorder--my work here is done.
25. How do I set a laser printer to "stun"?
26. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

These all just make me giggle so much! There's quite a few that I'd like to actually say to a few people. I never would, but... it sure would be satisfying every now and then. Or maybe make t-shirts with a few choice statements on it. That would be interesting. I wonder if that violates some kind of office dress code?

July 18, 2002

Twiddlin' My Thumbs

There seem to be a lot of these weekly deals out there. I've been picking the interesting ones and doing those. This one is called the Thursday Thumb Twiddler.

1. One hot summer afternoon, while walking through a parking lot at a large shopping mall, you notice a dog suffering badly from the heat inside a locked car. What would you do? I would check the doors to see if one might be open. If it's all locked, I'd go in the mall and find the public info place or the help desk. Almost all malls have some kind of paging system. If the owner of the car didn't show within a couple minutes (3 or 4 at the most) I'd call the cops. It's illegal to neglect your pets, so they'd be able to get the dog out and take care of it.

2. You are in a restaurant rest room. You notice an employee leaving without washing his/her hands. Do you bring the matter to the attention of the owner or manager? If so, do you do it publicly or privately? I'm such a wimp I probably wouldn't do anything. If it were really bad I might make an annonymous call after I got home. I'd definitely blog it tho! And I'd tell everyone I know "you'll never guess what happened, I was at...."

3. What is one item you own that you really should throw away ... but probably never will? I have a really silly collection that is completely pointless (it's the tabs off of pop cans) and I should get rid of. But... I probably won't!

What Day is it?

I have decided that I really enjoy the daily/weekly Q&A memes. So... I had some spare time and decided to go find one to answer. Went into my favorites, and found one for Friday. I got to the site at which point I went... You Idiot! It isn't Friday! It's still Thursday! My brain had decided that it was Friday without consulting a calendar.

My cousin is getting married in two days. My aunt and uncle are coming from California (actually they should be at my parents house by now) and they're bring their grandson Warren. He hasn't really met any of the family here in the midwest, so we're all looking forward to meeting this child that we've been hearing about for the past 5 years. I'll be sure to post pics if I take any.

Another Thursday Thing

I found another Thurday deal. OK, actually I found a link to it on PromoGuy's site. So technically I didn't find it. but I found the link to it so that counts right?

Onesome. A Clear - In the last few months, what have you muddled over that suddenly became a clear, focused picture or plan of action?No. the last few months have actually been mery muddy for me. Nothing has really gone as expected. Maybe things will become clear in the near future tho. At least I hope they do.

Twosome. And Present - what is the coolest present you've ever gotten and/or given? My all time favorite part of gift giving is when I can find a present for someone that is exactly what they wanted. But... they can't be expecting it. The look on faces when the person opens their present is just wonderful.

Threesome. Danger - have you ever been in a dangerous situation? um... yes I think so. At least kinda dangerous (but not a lot) When I was in Africa w/my family a few years ago, actually that was 9 years ago. Wow, how the time flies! My parents work with missionaries so they travel to all kinds of strange places. They took my brother and me with once. Anyway, we went to a game reserve at one point and we saw a bunch of elephants. They could have hurt/killed us if they wanted to, but... we were in Cameroun and the elephants there aren't very aggressive. If you give them their space you'll be fine. There was one other time I was in a kinda dangerous situation (but not very). I work at a news station and there was a standoff w/police one night. One of the reporters and myself went out to shoot it (with a camera silly!) We were all the way across a parking lot from the "action" but I suppose that could be considered dangerous. The dude eventually gave up and came out w/his hands up, but they were very close to sending in the SWAT guys.

So... was that a long enuf answer? I think I spent quite a bit more time on that than was intended. Oh well, now you know more about me than you did before!

July 19, 2002


I've just had my first post on my site from someone I don't know in 3D! So far the only comments have been from my roommate! So... I think it's only fair that I answer the question posed.

A couple presents I've given... there are two children's books that my mother adores and has never bought for herself. I managed to find one of them "Tikki Tikki Tembo" but couldn't find the other "Maggie B." I got her the one I did find and that was really nice.
For my roommate's birthday last year... there is a CD of mine that she was ALWAYS stealing. So... I bought her the movie that it's from. Oh, the name of it is "Alegria" it's a movie that uses the Cirque du Soleil show as the backdrop for the story of the movie.

There have been others, but that's all I can think of right off the top of my head!

Changing the Template?

I'm hoping that I just managed to change my links section. My dad helped me with some html coding to make the colors change and I'm hoping (cross your fingers) that it worked. Of course, by the time this is posted I'll already know if it worked!


Well, the update worked! I got my links area to be different and closer to the way I originally wanted it. It still needs some tweaking, but the major chunks of it are done. Woo Hoo! Now I just have to mess with the little things like the fonts and the titles of various parts of the links list. I don't really feel like continuing to mess with it right now, so I'm not going to! I'll work on it later (probably tonight around 3 a.m. that's when I get most stuff done).

July 21, 2002


I've been AWOL the last two days (my cousin got married, more on that later) and in trying to catch up on people's blogs I found this poem that Naked Thoughts wrote that is absolutely brilliant. So... I decided to share it with everybody (or at least the two people who might look at my blog!)

I want you to know
how important is my faith for myself
how important is Jesus to me
and I know He is a jealous God
I'd rather hurt and leave anyone
who loves any other God besides Him
because He's the sweetest for my soul
and I've known how empty my life would be
if I don't walk daily with Him.

You faith and your believe
is totally yours
I don't have any right to cross the border
I hope you can see the beauty in Jesus
but if you still look around for any other gods
I can say nothing and will just go ...

People lie
when they say that all religions are fine
if it was so
why people against people because of their diversity of faith?
can you explain?

What I believe is
that all religions are good
but not all lead to the eternal salvation
and I believe the only way to reach Heaven
is only Jesus
because other religions depend on our own good deeds
and we all know that men are fragile
we can't depend on ourselves, we commit sinful things daily
but Jesus has made it easier for me
He died on the cross for my sins, and yours

I'm not interested to any other kind of belief
or even the highest philosophy
even they are the fruits of the most genius man in the world
not because I blindfold my eyes
but I know what the truth is
and I want to stay there forever
and I want to live with someone
who share the same belief like mine
or I'd better only be with my Lord
until the day He calls me home.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone, myself included, say what I believe so well. So, Thank You!

July 25, 2002

Which Peanuts Character Are

I am Snoopy
Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz

I don't think the description really fits but... Snoopy is cute anyway.

So... I tweaked the Photo

So... I tweaked the Photo Album, I haven't added any more pics yet. I have a ton that need to be uploaded, but I haven't spent the time to get them ready so you'll just have to wait.

I found this entry:

Someone found the zendom webzine using the search terms "worf and troi slash."
Someone *really* needs to figure out what slash is.
at this site. I thought it was really funny, so I'm sharing it!

Very frustrated at work lately, but it's really late (or early depending on your perspective) and I should really go to bed! So, more info will have to wait untill I'm a little bit more alert.

July 26, 2002

Geek Test

I am 35% Geek

You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.

Take the Geek Test at fuali.com

This actually kinda fits (emphasize "kinda"). I work at a TV station directing newscasts and making graphics so I DO work with computers. I have never fit with the "normal" crowd (emphasize the quotes this time). I do have friends, but not many. I've always been the type that has a few very close friends but not a lot of people at the regular friend level.

Speaking of work, I should go do some now!


The fourth book written, you're nevertheless the first chronologically. You not only describe the creation of Narnia and tell where the White Witch, the lampost and the wardrobe came from, you get to bounce between worlds with the help of Uncle Andrew's weird magic rings.

Find out which Chronicles of Narnia book you are.

Found this one at this site, and couldn't resist. I have adored the Chronicles since I was little and my parents read them to my brother and me. I love that the button to get the answer to the test had "Further up and further in" on it. Now I'm in a Narnia mood and want to re-read them again! I've already read them numerous times, but I always enjoy reading them one more time.

July 29, 2002

Movie Nite!

I had an actual day off of work today (at this point it was technically yesterday) so I went to a movie. I finally decided on "Minority Report" of which I've heard mixed reviews. Personally I really enjoyed it. It had a lot of very interesting points about fate and whether we can choose our destiny or not. If you know what's going to happen can you change it? Or is the future already set? Does knowing the future affect your ability to change it?

The FX were really good. I think my favorite were the plants. It takes talking to your plants to help them grow to a whole new level. And because I've worked in TV for long enough now that I can't look at anything without noticing the photography... the photography was VERY cool. Lots of aerial shots that moved from one room to another.

Those spider things royally freaked me out, and not just 'cuz I'm severely arachnaphobic. Watching those things go from person to person scanning eyeballs was awfully disconcerting. The thought that a person could be found at any moment freaks me out. I like being able to disappear occasionally.

Last thing, the eyeballs & the ramp! LOL!!

I need to go switch loads in the laundry room now. Bye!

July 30, 2002


Anyone who knows me knows how true this one is!

July 31, 2002


I'm not sure how to start this so I'm just going to type and hopefully it'll make some sort of sense when I'm finished...

For the past month or so I've been struggling pretty heavily with a kind of relapse of my depression. I was diagnosed and started meds five or six years ago (wow, has it really been that long?) I've been basically mentally stable for the past 3 or 4 years. But about a month ago I started having major problems again. After spending a LOT of time trying to figure out what triggered it... I came to the decision that the best thing for me to do for my own mental health is to move out of the place I share with two roommates (one of whom is a very close friend). The two of them are a couple and I've been feeling since day one that I'm just living in their place, that it isn't really mine. There are some other issues too, but I don't really want to go into that now.

So, I've decided I need to move out. We have a little over a month 'till our lease is up and now everyone has to find new places 'cuz of me. Even tho' I know it's the right decision I'm feeling very guilty about screwing my best bud out of a great place. (we really do have a great place right now)

I'm also having the added guilt of having to get rid of my kitty Ebony. He is such a wonderful cat, but I just can't keep him. My brother calls him the cat-dog. He acts more like a dog than a cat. He runs to the door to see who is there and then immediately wants to be petted. Just like a golden or a lab. He loves to snuggle and he's just a wonderful, laid-back kitty. But it just isn't feasible for me to keep him and my bird Dolce. And Dolce is my first priority. I've had him for over 4 years, and he is my baby. It is really amazing how attached I am to that bird!

So, I'm feeling guilty about having to abandon my cat, and about hurting my best bud. I don't know what to do, or if there's even anything I can do.

I think I'm done rambling, and I hope it all made sense!

Hannah Update

She is now 2 pounds 13 ounces! She is a full pound heavier than when she was born! And she's an inch and a half longer too, she's at 14 and a half inches. Her mom says that she seems so big now! (Relatively speaking of course!)

I need to go do actual work now! Bye!


I just came inside from being out and about doing various errands and the sunset tonight was absolutely amazing. The sun was huge and a deep redish-orange color just touching the horizon, there was a band of lavender along the horizon and a deep pink area around the sun and spreading upwards. A little bit above the sun a string of small puffy clouds were illuminated and their bottoms seemed almost silver. There were bands of sunlight heading up across the sky like searchlights through the clouds. Forgive the cliche, but it looked like God got out his watercolors and spent the evening painting a masterpiece for all of us to enjoy.

About July 2002

This page contains all entries posted to Sunidesus Speaks in July 2002. They are listed from oldest to newest.

June 2002 is the previous archive.

August 2002 is the next archive.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.