Sunidesus Speaks

I read this the other day on Chris P.'s blog, and I'm finally getting around to doing something with it. I've seen some of them before, but they're just so funny I had to post them.

1. And your crybaby, whiny-assed opinion would be...?
2. Do I look like a people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
5. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
6. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
7. You...! Off my planet!
8. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
9. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
10. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
11. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
12. Allow me to introduce my selves.
13. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
14. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
15. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil!
16. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
17. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
18. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
19. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
20. Stress is when you wake up screaming & realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
21. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
22. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
23. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
24. Chaos, panic, & disorder--my work here is done.
25. How do I set a laser printer to "stun"?
26. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

These all just make me giggle so much! There's quite a few that I'd like to actually say to a few people. I never would, but... it sure would be satisfying every now and then. Or maybe make t-shirts with a few choice statements on it. That would be interesting. I wonder if that violates some kind of office dress code?