Halley made me cry. Her post got me thinking about my grandma's death, and that never goes to a happy place. It is joyful, but that is a completely different thing. I am joyful because I know she's home with her Father (and mine), but sad because she's gone. I wasn't there when it happened, but I had a "goodbye" moment a few days prior.
My grandma loved flowers. Pansies will forever be "Grandma Flowers" to me. Excuse a tangent for a second... almost 2 years ago now, I worked at an elementary school for a year. I was part interpreter, part special ed aide. One of the kids I worked with, Chris, he and his mom brought flowers for all the people that helped him through the year. They brought me Pansies. I broke down crying like a little baby. Pansies are just so special to me (and the rest of the family) now. OK, back to the point. My grandma loved flowers. We all brought flowers frequently to keep her room blooming so she could enjoy them for as long as possible. I brought a bouquet and held them down near the side of her bed and put my head near hers so she could see them and me. I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me. It was only a few minutes, but it was so special. A few days later she died and I was so grateful that I had had that chance to say goodbye. That moment is so important to me now.
Well, now that I'm sitting here bawling...
I just have to remember that she's home now. She's not in pain, and someday I'll see her again.